Yoga: A message for those who find Mothering Sunday painful and difficult

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As someone who suffered a great deal as a child, I would like to highlight the liberation and healing that can be found in allowing yourself to believe that your foundation was fruitful, loving and kind even if it was simply in the moment of your conception.

It is only through forgiveness that we free ourselves and the perpetrator of pain which encourages and makes space for transformation. I am 35 years old and for the first time in my life, I am able to appreciate my mother. Each of our parents brought us lessons which may have been difficult but which makes each of us the people we are today and for that if nothing else, we should be thankful.

None of us has to repeat the past and none of us can change it but we can let go of it in the present. Never in a million years did I believe I could forgive my mother for the pain and hardship she brought me but I see now that had I continued to hold her in purgatory, I would have been perpetuating the same misery. Forgiveness does not mean that we approve of someone’s behaviour, nor condone it however, adding pain to the pain that causes a person to behave in ways which are hurtful to others merely makes it snowball.

By forgiving my mother, I have not only let go of the pain she caused but made space for her to be a better person herself. Not only did my letting go allow me to step into a more powerful place myself, but it has meant that my mother makes a real effort to show her love and I am now in a place where I can receive and appreciate it. I have also noticed that some of the behaviour which caused pain in the first instance has receded as she is now able to see herself as someone worthy and deserving of love. We have a responsibility to reflect back to someone the light within them, even when they themselves cannot see it. Everyone is capable of transformation.

It can help too to remember that we ourselves are never perfect. We too have experienced many of the emotions that led to your mother behaving badly, perhaps the only difference is in how we responded to that emotion. I send healing light and love to anyone who still bears wounds from the relationship they have/had with their mother you are loved.

You are held by the greater, eternal power of the universe. Please, try forgiving them. In doing so you set yourself free. If you are not yet ready to forgive, try coming to me for some reiki in Bristol or by distance. If you have a forgiveness story, please do share it in the comments here.

With so much love

Nicola x

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